RATING SCALE:
1-5 ANGELS

Select A Movie:

2 Fast 2 Furious
8 Mile
40 Year Old Virgin, The
A Beautiful Mind
Catch Me If You Can
Catwoman
Cloverfield
Cold Mountain
Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind

Garden State
Ice Age
Jackass
Ladder 49
Lord of the Rings
Matrix Reloaded, The
Paycheck
Pirates of the Caribbean
Possession
Punch-Drunk Love
Rules of Attraction, The
School of Rock
Scooby Doo
Slackers
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2
Super Size Me
Sweetest Thing, The
Taxi
Truth About Charlie, The
Vanilla Sky
Vanity Fair
Where the Truth Lies
XXX

To get right to the point, this film fucking sucks. It sucks a lot of un-bathed victorian ass. The only thing this movie has to show for itself is a good costume designer. Seriously. That's it. I'm telling you right now, hoping you haven't already endured the pain that is uncontrollably invoked in all good humans while viewing this film, don't watch this movie.

Reese Witherspoon should have known better. I think her sense of quality must have been fogged over by the thought of Oscar possibilities, when she accepted the roll of a "bold, class climbing, strong woman," from a time when women weren't much more than baby factories. But, I do believe she failed to realize two things: 1) She can't act well enough to play the character. 2) The character is not the description above, but, instead, a boring, gold-digging whore, with no strength, or anything of worth about her.

In Reese's defense, the movie may have been even worse if the lead was played by someone who is not as hot as Reese. But, I must also mention here that she doesn't even get slightly naked, when fully naked was kind of required. Who has sex with ALL of their clothes on?! Ahhhh! I'm so sick of this movie/television bullshit where people have sex (with plenty of time) with only a bra on, or something equally pointless. If they're not going to show their tits, then why have them facing the camera? This sex scene takes it a step further and leaves her elephant dress on. But! Oh, wait! It was unzipped. Now I believe they really had sex!

Ugh. Moving on...

The movie is crap. Crap, crap, crap. It's too long, it's boring, you won't care if everyone dies and will kind of be hoping they do, its timeline is choppy, the acting is bad, the passion is non-existent, the rebel looks like he was attacked by the Queer Eye guys and a bottle of hair gel, and I would have walked out if my friend wasn't required to watch it (don't ask).

Vanity Fair = Bad. Not watching Vanity Fair = Good.

Vanity Fair

Rating:

Starring:
Reese Witherspoon



Buy The Soundtrack


Try The Book?

 

 



 
Copyrights are the property of their respective owners. The images displayed on this site are for newsworthy purposes only. All of the images on this site are either the property of HeavenlyCelebrities.com, used with permission of their respective copyright owners, or believed to have been granted into the public domain.
All original content Copyright © 2001-2008 Heavenly Celebrities™ All Rights Reserved