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Taxi is a story about a complete fuck-up cop, Washburn, (Jimmy Fallon), who can't drive even when his life depends on it. They've made this character the most jinxed, fumbling, idiot, the world has ever known, yet, he somehow acquired a driver's license, became a police officer in New York City, works undercover, and my personal favorite, solves the mystery of the bank robberies in town while the FBI remains clueless.

Washburn eventually totals enough cars and property that his license is taken away by his Lieutenant, (Jennifer Esposito). Now, without a car, Washburn picks up a report of a bank robbery, an entire block away. He decides to take a taxi to the scene, and who would have guessed, he gets in Belle's cab.

Belle (Queen Latifah), has recently finished five years of work on her taxi, loading it with all sorts of impossible gadgets, making it a super-taxi. Throughout the film we get to watch her pull outrageous maneuvers, which unfortunately, never end in death.

Belle and Washburn run around the city for the rest of the movie, chasing four supermodel bank robbers, lead by Vanessa (Gisele Bunchen).

The film wins an entire 3 points out of a bazillion possible. 2 points for the 2 times I laughed at Jimmy Fallon, and 1 point for the scene where Gisele frisks (aka feels up) Jennifer before trading a hostage for her.

Taxi is a terrible movie that should never be watched. Jimmy should stick to what he's good at on Saturday nights, Queen Latifah should never make a movie again, and Gisele should be naked in better movies.

Taxi

Rating:

Starring:
Jimmy Fallon, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Esposito, Gisele Bundchen